Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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