I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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