that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
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Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize