i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
