I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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