So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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