I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
