I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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