i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
someone owes me an orgasm
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think my moral compass just broke
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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