oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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