I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
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