i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
