Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
