How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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