So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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