He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
