i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
