I smell stomach acid.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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