Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
