i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Your penis caused this!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
