it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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