If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize