No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
