Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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