But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
