You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He better not be in your backpack
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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