dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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