A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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