How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
