That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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