he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
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I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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