Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
