Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
