I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
