It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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