i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
