oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize