North Korea, Best Korea!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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