Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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