no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
