sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
