he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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