Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.