Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Bea Arthur died yesterday

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You shut your stupid mouth

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Betty White is next, I just know it.

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.

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  (301): Bea Arthur died yesterday (240): You shut your stupid mouth (301): Betty White is next, I just know it. (240): Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next. http://tfl.nu/xn02
  Replies (20) Good night (1157) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful

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  (805): singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful http://tfl.nu/6f81
  Replies (14) Good night (1111) Bad night (1845)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras

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  (818): I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras http://tfl.nu/7rs3
  Replies (16) Good night (5600) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.

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  (269): I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/z1gu
  Replies (8) Good night (4853) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?

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  (612): how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight? http://tfl.nu/54td
  Replies (13) Good night (3731) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (845) Bad night (5005)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.

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  (423): Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this. http://tfl.nu/rnqg
  Replies (12) Good night (2751) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up

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  (402): Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up http://tfl.nu/1eo4
  Replies (5) Good night (3050) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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  (403): I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string http://tfl.nu/a9dp
  Replies (9) Good night (1196) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

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  (508): if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis http://tfl.nu/xw63
  Replies (5) Good night (1874) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok

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  (386): I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok http://tfl.nu/xajl
  Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.

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  (563): He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name. http://tfl.nu/wgo9
  Replies (7) Good night (518) Bad night (1647)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.

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  (832): I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket. http://tfl.nu/lg7t
  Replies (2) Good night (269) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming

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  (425): I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming http://tfl.nu/nsf8
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (167)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK

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  (432): GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK http://tfl.nu/gkbk
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (196)

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