Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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