I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.