Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
