tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
