easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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