I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
