what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
