Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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