ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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