Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize