For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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