i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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