I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize