you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
