Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
