Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
