Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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