in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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