So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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