I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
